I can´t stop...
I can´t stop thinking about today... her words playing in my head, then rewinding... unwinding me... I can´t stop.
I know she couldn´t help... I knew the weight was to much for someone so tender.
I couldn´t change the way things were going....
Could I?
If I could promisse her a new world now, free of past undoings.... would I? Would she believe me? If I could do everything once again, what could I have changed? If I could live my life, my past months again, with the hard wisdom I´ve got now... what could, and what would, be changed?
There´s no way of saying... there´s no use thinking about it too...

She said what she had to say... she have done what she felt like. I do understand her feelings, her toughts.... the toughness of feeling so alone.
And I was so busy all the time building me a new life, a new home...
Maybe I am to blame for OUR sufferings.... there´s no use thinking this way.

I wish I could have her again beside me. I wish I could show her how much I love her...
I wish she would... or could... love me back too.
I wish this sadness, this loss, out of me...

I wish everything was all right
but now there´s only love, broken love, broken links in this chain of light and shadows...
broken parts of our picture.
The night is becoming darker... my toughts too...

Better get some sleep before I crash and burn myself.

My little one... I hope you know how much I love you.
I, not so secretly, wish you come back...
I wish we could make everything work again
I wish too much now...
I wish you...

I can´t stand these shadows any longer tonight.
I´ll get some sleep. Maybe the sun brings me some strenght... to get ahead with the day.. to get ahead with the so so so important things.... that caused all this suffering.
I hate myself now.

Love, tender feelings, hurt ones too... a hard wait and harder understanding... for me tonight.